At some point you need to stop blaming others. You Need to, you don’t HAVE to. This doesn’t mean you need to start blaming yourself, because that would be far from productive. It’s more about moving on, stepping forward to a place where you can start to help yourself and start to truly heal. From my personal experience, blaming others, in whatever form that may take, is like sitting on a merry go round. You aren’t quite staying in one place, but your not moving forward either. Instead, you are just moving in circles.
When you can make the personal choice to spin the game spinner (note the analogy here to the game of LIFE), and move forward the appropriate number of spaces, you are also taking the first step in taking control of your life and determining what you can and will do, to make your life the best life for you.
I know, I DON’T know the road that you have traveled, and I DON’T know how difficult it has been for you or how horribly other people have treated you. I do however know that I have had my fair share of challenges that I have linked to people in my life. I also completely respect your challenges and situation, and would never minimize it to say it is an easy shift, or a change you HAVE to do. I’m really just suggesting, that moving forward, beyond the blame game, will help you heal and progress to the life you want.
It’s not an overnight shift. Please know this. It may take years to get from where you are to where you want to be, but the good news is, it’s a process of baby steps. Each baby step in the direction beyond blame, will help to peel away the layers of pain, grief, hatred, anger, hurt… and you will slowly start to feel better. You will start to wake up and look forward to each day (or most days), and one day you’ll look back and be amazed at the journey you have had, and the life you have created.
And it all starts with the decision to no longer blame others.
At this point I must too give a shameless plug to God. I believe in God, and I believe God can do amazing things in our lives. I believe taking the step to move beyond blame, in conjunction with prayer and living our lives as God asks us to, helps to make our lives amazing.
I haven’t always believed in God. I wanted to believe and maybe even kind of believed, but I didn’t have the faith that I have now. I doubted God and I doubted Christ, and I was always asking for proof that He is the ‘Real Deal’. Well, my journey of no longer blaming others, my journey of taking control of my life, included many situations in which God answered my prayers for proof. It got to the point for me that it was embarrassing to ask for more proof, because He had given me so much already! One example of proof is that I was in a really bad car accident with a semi-truck. The truck hit me, not once, but twice! I bounced back and forth between the truck and the guardrail like a ball in a pinball machine. My car then spun in a 360-degree counter clockwise circle across 3 lanes highway; and then rolled over twice once I hit the median. When this was all done, I opened my door and found myself without a scratch. I had some whiplash of course, but no open external or internal wounds. It was then, I knew, God was giving me a wake up call. It would take me 10 more years before I would truly believe in God, and understand God’s mission for us. Fortunately, God is as patient as he is good. He totally met me where I was and put many people in my life (including my beautiful twin daughters) to guide me on my journey.
I started today’s blog because I wanted you to know how much making the personal choice to move beyond blame is a necessary step to help you achieve peace and happiness in your life. As I wrote, I realized I had to also tell you about the awesomeness of God and the importance He too has had in my life.
I want you to have hope, to know that baby steps, including taking baby steps in prayer, will help get you from what may be a dark and sad place to a happy and bright place.
